Ok, so here's the deal. I haven't been writing at all and I know it would be good for me to do so. I have so many thoughts swimming around my head, some of which are not the healthiest of thoughts, and I need to purge. Getting started has been challenging. School has most certainly been an impediment. This has been one of the most overwhelming experiences for me. Don't get me wrong, I love it. But the process of learning new psychomotor and technical skills as well as a new language and cognitive processes has been incredibly intense and exhausting. As a result, I haven't had the time to write and when I do have the time, all I want to do is sleep or turn off my brain in front of the tv (by the way, I'm hoping to spend a piece of my tax return on a 40" HDTV).
I set a goal for myself to write for 30 minutes everyday. I'll try to post something everyday although I know that might be an unrealistic goal. But, 30 minutes everyday is manageable and will be healing for me....and that's what I need right now...and I'm all about my needs. I want to write about school, about the things that have been going on in my head, and I have also been thinking about some hot stories that I'd like to share with you.
Meanwhile, I just finished my first spring break in 18 years. Yahoo! Ah, I remember the time I went to the Yankee Trader in Fort Lauderdale for spring break 1986. My friends and I were underage without 3 forms of ID so we spent our days on the beach and our nights in the hotel. We had parties in our room every night and everyone knew about the girls on the 11th floor. I had sex with a guy from Chicago that looked like the boxer Hector "Macho" Camacho. He was the second guy I ever fucked. It wasn't very memorable, but he was cute and I do remember that he wore those goofy long "Jams" surfer shorts and had really cool taste in music.
I don't think the kids go to Ft. Lauderdale anymore. I think Cancun is the destination of choice these days because there's no drinking age.
But, alas, no wet t-shirt contests for me. I spent spring break here in NYC in a pot smoke haze. It had been months since I partied so I bought a bag. I have concluded that I cannot and must not own dope, because when I do, I smoke it all day (including the wake and bake), everyday until it's gone. I got absolutely nothing done this week. Of course there's nothing wrong with doing nothing, and I probably needed it, but I felt depressed and ate like I was never going to eat again...and that's not good. I felt alone and lonely. I did get to spend some time with friends but not nearly enough. And while I don't have trouble doing things alone, I didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything solo, so I just isolated myself at home. I didn't deprive myself of pleasure and enjoyed plenty of midday masturbation. Frankly, though, I'm starting to worry that I've abused the battery power and am afraid I've desensitized myself and won't be able to cum wtihout it.
I hate when I get into these ruts. I'm just going to pull myself up from the bootstraps and forge ahead. School starts again tomorrow, and I have to regain my focus. Besides, I do function better when I have a schedule. There...I said it...I like structure.
Well, I've completed my first 30 minutes. Yay me! And I did it naked. I've actually been sitting around naked all night. I love being naked.
Stay tuned....don't touch that dial
Hugs and kisses, Hot Lips
